Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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