Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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