i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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