i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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