he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
