either way he was missing a nipple.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
