okay pat passed out under dana's car
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize