Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
