I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
