Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
