Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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