Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize
