I got chris browned last night
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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