Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize