He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
