is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
