I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
