New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
