Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
