I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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