there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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