Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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