Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
