Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
