Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have started to decorate penises.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
