Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
