Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
