I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize