And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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