We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
