The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
