my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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