the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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