just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
