He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
