I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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