does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
