is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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