did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I will pee on everything he values.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
