I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
