Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
