I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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