don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
