this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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