Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
