it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
