he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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