i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
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dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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