I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
