it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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