It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
