yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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