hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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