Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
