Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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