Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.