How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
