If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...