how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
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she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing