You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
