Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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