We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize