hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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