if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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