watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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