apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
