No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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