My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
